Today was a day that involved “The Talk.”
There are many different “Talks.” It depends on the day.
And the Season.
Birds/bees/babies. 1st boyfriend/girlfriend. How could God make himself as a baby? (question for me from my daughter at age 5 … never mind, long talk). 1st breakup. Bullies. Alcohol/drugs. Death. Sex (again). Driving. Alcohol/drugs (again). Fears. Mistakes. College. Marriage. Divorce. Forgiveness. Aging parents.
Today’s Talk involved the one listed last. Specifically the “You Can’t Drive Any More” Talk.
My mom has been experiencing increasingly rapid memory loss since a small stroke on 1/8/11. She’s been diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment. She’s gotten lost on a number of occasions and is yet defensive when her memory is discussed.
It’s interesting and frustrating due to a few issues: her denial of what she can no longer safely do, she can’t remember to use reminder tools to help remember, and she can’t remember what she’s forgotten.
I figure what I just wrote sounds a little crazy. It does to me. But, to clarify, if she forgets those occasions or items in the past it makes it a challenge to have her accept reasoning regarding her memory that assists with any necessary change.
I have an older sister by about 2 1/2 years. She has numerous strengths; one being the ability to care well for another. She’s shined in this situation. She’s taken care of the mail, bills, calls, Dr’s appointments, etc. And now she’s made arrangements for others to assist with transportation of our mom for necessary or desired trips.
I thank God for her.
This morning I had a sense of peace about the Talk; thinking that maybe she’d accept it well, seeing it as a relief. I also found that on the way over there–after planning this with my sister, and working out how and when–I was … sad.
It’s a reminder. Another one. It hits close to home. We’re mortal. Life’s short. We’re going through another phase. That involves grieving as the mom I now have isn’t the mom of my memories.
Although this Talk wasn’t easy, it was … warm. Caring. Even a little humorous. After venting some frustration, my mom shared two huge items: That over the last couple of weeks she’s found that when she starts out to drive somewhere she gets nervous, unsure. And, secondly, that with this discussion today and plans in place, she’s recognized (again) that she has many who care for and about her.
She does. I hope, if I make it that far, I’m as blessed.